The List

There’s this thing about me. Ever since I was about twelve, I’ve been out. It’s difficult to call myself anything but a lesbian now, but I really believe that labels for sexuality really depend on the person themselves. For example, I call myself a lesbian because I never plan on being with a man ever again because they’re looks just aren’t very appealing to me. Although, a friend of mine calls me a bisexual because although I don’t plan on it, I can still feel emotionally connected to a man. I believe that labels are really just a way to be comfortable because people feel more comfortable when they know what somebody is. So, you can call my sexuality whatever you want but personally, I think I’m a lesbian.

Ever since I broke up with my last boyfriend last February or March, I’ve believed that I’ve lost all interest in boys. They’re all immature, rude, and the masculine love just really isn’t for me. A friend of mine made the point to me a while ago that there’s such a difference between masculine, and feminine love. And that masculine love? Just isn’t for me. The way a man loves a woman is so much different than the way a woman loves a woman. I can’t explain it, I can just feel it. It’s not only that though about men. They all have that thing in between their legs too. And it’s just UGLY.

From time to time, you might hear me say, “He is so hot.” No. It doesn’t mean that I’ve turned straight. It just means that he’s on the list. Ahhh, the list. Yes, it’s something I’ve recently come up with. The list is just a list of people who I’d be with if the opportunity was there and I was single, for many different reasons, really. A good friend of mine named Timguy was the first one to ask me who was on the list of five. I told him. There’s a few people on it whom I know personally, but some of them wouldn’t really like it if I told the world they were on the list.

2. Timguy
Not for any specific reason really, I think it’d just be LOLZ. You know, just to say that I did it. It’d be funny. Let’s face it. I mean, if you knew this guy, you’d DEFINITELY agree with me. We’d be a funny pair. I’ll introduce you one day. He’s awesome though, in every single way.

4. Gerard Butler
C’mon. Those abs. 300. Sexy. I don’t care if you’re a boy, a girl or in between, or gay, straight, or in between that, if you don’t agree with me, you seriously need to figure your stuff out. None of those abs in 300 were CGI’d. And if you know different, don’t tell me please. PLEASE. Gerard Butler, OMG, sexiest man alive. I swear to God.

5. Edward Cullen
Just like, the way he sparkles. It gets me every time. Whenever I’m reading the book, I just wish I was Bella. He’s so beautiful, and incredible. He’s so talented. I can’t even believe how beautiful he is. Everytime I hear about those eyes, it just gets to me. I hear him calling my name, and I can just feel him biting me. NO. I’m totally kidding! I totally got you too. Amy was probably like, “OMG. WHAT?” Hahaha. Hilarious. Did you know that there is over 160 references to Edward Cullen’s beauty in the first Twilight book? That’s over three references per page.

5. Don Draper
Nah. I’m not talking about John Hamm. I mean Don Draper. My biggest dream is to live in the ’50s. And although Don Draper is technically from the ’60s, that doesn’t really bother me because he is one of the most attractive men in the world. Don Draper can do anything. Anything at all. I want to date somebody from the ’50s so bad, and he just seems like the best one. Just think about, he makes TONS of money, he dresses beautifully, he knows how to treat a woman, and he’s GORGEOUS. Like, COME ON. It’s obvious. I’m sure you’d all agree with me.

That’s the list, and no, I’m not telling you who number 1 or 3 is.